EAT YOUR HEART OUT, MAHATHIR, MUHYIDDIN, PN-PAS – ‘ARRANGED’ MARRIAGES LAST LONGER THAN SO-CALLED ‘LOVE’ MARRIAGES – BELIEVE IT OR NOT, DATA SHOWS DIVORCE RATE FOR ARRANGED MARRIAGES IS 4%, WHILE THE DIVORCE RATE FOR MARRIAGES WITHOUT ‘PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT’ (E.G. AGONG’S ADVICE) IS AROUND 40-50%’

Arranged marriages are somewhat antiquated. Many would shudder at the thought that their folks and family might “arrange” a life-partner for them. But one should not confuse “arranged marriages” with “forced marriages.”

The latter is terrible. A forced marriage happens when you face physical, emotional, or psychological pressure. Obviously, Ismail Sabri Yaakob, our hapless, shortest serving prime minister, is confused.

Our former PM, whose allegiance to his own party is somewhat perplexing, said a few days ago that if you “force” a marriage, cracks will be seen soon. Ismail seems to suggest that the Yang di-Pertuan Agong “forced” this marriage between PH and Umno for the formation of our unity government.

I was under the impression that our King, exasperated by the chicanery of Malaysian politicians, acted like a tired “parent” and “arranged” a marriage between PH and Umno.

Both PH and Umno, as well as the Sabah and Sarawak contingents had the “free-will” to politely decline joining the government, just like that other maverick and non-conformist “child,” PN, did.

I suspect the disgruntled former prime minister is just mischief making. Perhaps he is still licking his wounds over how his tenure was unceremoniously ended when he was outfoxed by the big fish in his own party.

Our man, who was probably the most non-controversial prime minister in recent memory, should quietly slink away into the sunset. But I suppose once you have tasted the trappings of power, it is hard to accept that you were an accidental leader, who simply got outplayed.

So, to remain relevant and in the public eye, he needs to pop up occasionally to make some statements, and get into the national discourse. Ismail should learn from one of his predecessor’s, Mahathir Mohammad, who has made this into a fine artform.

Earlier this week, the nonagenarian reminded our current prime minister Anwar Ibrahim that he had one day left to apologise and retract claims that Mahathir had enriched his family while in power.

If not, the soon to be centenarian said he would proceed with legal action. This is how Mahathir remains in the public domain. But Ismail just makes unfortunate ramblings that even his own party ignores.

Anwar’s unity government was not a forced marriage. It was an arranged marriage. “Elders” got together and said we need to sort this mess out (the hung parliament), and nudged the protagonists to put aside their differences for the “family” – our nation.

Incidentally, here is an interesting statistic. In real life, those who enter an arranged marriage have a much lower divorce rate than those who enter a marriage without their parent’s involvement. In the US, the divorce rate for arranged marriages is 4%, while the divorce rate is around 40-50%.

That is in real life, though.

Who knows how long this unity government’s arranged marriage will last, with the cultural differences between the parties being so deep-seated. Having said this, in the past five months of “living together”, they all seem to be functioning like how real life arranged marriages function.

In any arranged marriage, there are relatives who simply cannot stand each other and will trade barbs at every opportunity. The current transport minister Loke Siew Fook and former transport minister Wee Ka Siong are like two “drunk uncles”, who have a natural dislike for each other, and will get into fisticuffs at any moment.

Every new arranged marriage also has strange “aunties”…the ones who say and do things that are weird. Just like we had our health minister giving out sanitary pads to civil servants. Go figure!

And of course, every new family alliance will have some “bad apples” in their midst. The cousin who regularly borrows money, and has a reputation for not paying back, now has a catchment of “new relatives” to borrow from.

It is the same with our unity government. We all know the adage that power corrupts. And, we are discovering that only five months into the job, some members of this government are already being accused of having their hand in the cookie jar.

So, it seems that the unity government is functioning true to form, like an arranged marriage. Generally, it is chugging along, with the requisite irritations naturally being present. But as I said, statistically, arranged marriages seem to last longer.

There are some positive justifications for the low divorce rates of arranged marriages. Social scientists argue that couples feel more inclined to work through issues and are more dedicated to each other. And eventually mutual admiration develops. They did not make rash decisions to marry someone because of passion or lust.

We all know that PH and Umno did not get married because of passion or lust for each other. Perhaps out of passion and lust for power, but certainly not for each other.

And, therein lies the crux of the matter.

Those who keep making apologies for this unity government, or keep harping that the alternative was an ultra-nationalistic and religious “green wave”, will need to sober up a little, and stop giving carte blanche endorsement to everything this government does.

As members of the “extended family” in this “arranged marriage”, rational citizens need to apply enough pressure on the newlyweds to be steadfast, and not to keep compromising on principles for the sake of being “power crazy.”

We need to press and influence the head of the family to remove the bad apples, not give power to suspected corruptors, and have the right people at the right jobs.

How long will this arranged marriage survive? Well, this depends on us too, as “family members.”

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