SHOCK EXPOSE: NAJIB’S TOP 20 ‘BRAINS’ TO COUNTER U.S. DOJ, WSJ, SINGAPORE, SWITZERLAND & KEEP HIM IN POWER

REPRINT – Will Malaysian prime minister Najib Razak be arrested on the explosive 1MDB scandal, now that it’s a global knowledge he’s caught with his pants down with US$696 million (RM2.62 billion) in his personal banking account? After all, Mahathir had hinted that the prime minister may be scared to quit due to possible criminal charges.

Using reverse psychology, Najib Razak today rubbished claims he had stolen 1Malaysia Development Bhd’s (1MDB) funds, saying that if he wanted to do so, he would not have placed the money in a bank account in Malaysia. Well, that was one smart way to put it, although not clever enough.

1MDB Scandal - Najib May Be Jailed

Surely we must have heard that the most dangerous place is often the safest place to hide valuables, and vice versa. So, it’s not stupid at all to keep ill-gotten money in the country. People will never guess that you actually keep cash inside your pillow, simply because it was a stupid thing to do in the first place. But that’s precisely where many keep it.

In the case of RM2.62 billion pumped into Najib’s personal account at Ambank, that’s the safest place on Earth, safer than in any foreign banks, including Switzerland. Why? Although the supposedly safe and tax havens such as Cayman Islands or Switzerland were great place to hide dirty money, they’re not actually very safe.

Cayman Islands - Sign Arrow

Supposing if these foreign financial institutions decide to “songlap” (rob) all your ill-gotten money entrusted to them, you’re practically vulnerable and can’t do anything. Do you sue them at the international court and cry that they’ve robbed your billions of dollars, which was accumulated illegally in the first place? Get the juice?

Hence, for Najib to play such a toddler reverse mindset game is like saying a rapist couldn’t have raped his own daughter in their own house because it would be such a dumb thing to do. One has to remember that as the prime minister of Malaysia, he’s the most powerful person in the country, more powerful than Obama and Queen Elizabeth combined.

UMNO Drawing - Leaders

The point is – Malaysia is the safest place for UMNO warlords to keep their ill-gotten money, until such time they lose power. After all, if they could erase immigration records as and when they wish, which local institution is not under their command? But The Wall Street Journal should be careful because below is a satire of how Najib’s 20 best brains may react to the New York-based publisher’s allegation.

{ 1 }  Hishammuddin Hussein – Minister of Defence, Cousin to PM

Hishammuddin Hussein with Keris

– “What happened to the US$700 million in my cousin’s banking account is ‘unprecedented’. It can happen to anybody. “Nearly the whole world” should also be accountable if Malaysia were to be blamed for the still-unsuccessful 1MDB RM42 billion search mission.”

{ 2 }  Nazri Aziz – Tourism and Culture Minister

Nazri Aziz Showing Sexual Finger Gesture

– “The Wall Street Journal should keep out of 1MDB scandal because, otherwise, they will be subject to the same (Malaysia) rule and we will“whack” them. Racist, racist, racist – WSJ is bloody racist.”

{ 3 }  Shahrizat Jalil – Former Women Minister

Shahrizat Jalil

– Prime Minister Najib Razak has nothing to do with the US$700 million because he just happened to have the same name as the banking account being exposed, the same way I didn’t know about my husband’s NFC scandal.

{ 4 }  Khairy Jamaluddin – son-in-law of former PM Abdullah Badawi

Khairy Jamaluddin

 “It seems there is no law in cyberspace any more, it is the law of the jungle and we need to take action against one monkey (Wall Street Journal). I think the other monkeys will get scared.”

{ 5 }  Hadi Awang – PAS President

Hadi Awang Wearing Sunglass

– “Only the Shariah law will accord ‘true justice’ to prime minister Najib Razak over WSJ revealation of US$700 million in his personal account.”

{ 6 }  Ahmad Maslan – Deputy Finance Minister

Ahmad Maslan Fried Rice

– “Our prime minister was smart to keep the money in his personal account because it’s ‘GST-free’, the same way I prepare my simple meal of fried rice for my family.”

{ 7 }  Liow Tiong Lai – Transport Minister

Liow Tiong Lai

– “Najib didn’t take the US$700 million. The money had only made it as far as the Ambank Group car park. The wind had blown the money into Najib’s account.”

{ 8 }  Abdullah Ahmad Badawi – former Prime Minister

Sleepy Abdullah Badawi

– “Did Najib take the RM700 million? I don’t know because I was asleep …”

{ 9 }  V. K. Lingam – lawyer and judges broker
VK Lingam

– “Correct, Correct, Correct – It could be Najib’s account, it might have been Najib’s account, but I don’t think it’s Najib’s account.”

{ 10 }  Shabery Cheek – Minister of Communication and Multimedia

Shabery Cheek

– “I challenge The Wall Street Journal to a debate on Najib’s account”

{ 11 }  Rais Yatim – former minister

Rais Yatim

– “The Wall Street Journal must see the bigger picture. Liow Tiong Lai said the wind had blown the money into Najib’s account. Nazri said WSJ was a bloody racist. And I needed a fresh funding of US$700 million to test the money laundering allegation. So, you see, it is a ‘WIN-WIN’ situation all around.”

{ 12 } Bung Mokhtar – Barisan Nasional MP

Bung Mokhtar

– “Mana ada bocor US$700 million? Wall Street Journal pun bocor tiap-tiap bulan juga.” (Where is the US$700 leak? The Wall Street Journal also leaks every month).

{ 13 }  Pandikar Amin Mulia – Speaker of Dewan Rakyat

Malaysia Dewan Rakyat Speaker Pandikar Amin Mulia

–  “I want to make this house a first-class parliament, but there is nothing in the standing orders against receiving US$700 milion. Wall Street Journal “duduk” (sit down)! Sarawak Report “duduk” (sit down)!”

{ 14 }  Shahidan Kassim – minister

Shahidan Kassim

– “US$700 million is the largest money laundering we’ve ever found and since its located about 100 meter from Ambank Group’s border, let’s turn it into a tourist spot. With this new tourist spot, it will also deter other corrupt politicians from using bank accounts with Ambank.”

{ 15 }  Zahid Hamidi – Home Affairs Minister

Zahid Hamidi

– “Najib had helped Putrajaya with ‘national security projects’ and I’ll write a letter to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to clarify the status of Najib Razak and the existence of the 14K triad in Malaysia”.

{ 16 }  Rosmah Mansor – self-proclaimed First Lady of Malaysia

 

Rosmah Mansor 2

– “My husband is innocent. Actually, he has been saving since 1-month-old. I have been saving from young too, for my US$24 million diamond ring”.

{ 17 }  Anifah Aman – Foreign Minister

Anifah Aman

– “Initially, we were willing to waive diplomatic immunity, but during discussions SRC International had offered ‘an alternative’ for the US$700 million to be brought back to Malaysia”

{ 18 }  Khalid Abu Bakar – Inspector General of Police (Malaysia)

Malaysia IGP Inspector General of Police - Khalid Abu Bakar

– “CCID (Commercial Crime Investigations Department) is not involved for the time being, as there is no element of criminal breach of trust. Hence, we’ll search every ‘wormhole’ (lubang cacing) for Wall Street Journal until the publisher is found and brought to justice”

{ 19 }  Ibrahim Ali – President of Perkasa

Ibrahim Ali - Giving Warning Gesture

– “We declare Jihad on The Wall Street Journal for exposing and humiliating fellow Muslim Najib Razak”.

{ 20 }  Zeti Akhtar Aziz – Governor of Bank Negara (Central Bank)

Bank Negara Zeti

– (*silence*).

– http://www.financetwitter.com

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